


Ikebukuro's Jester

by bluetansy



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comedy, Gen, Izaya mockery, Tarot Cards, reference to the Vamp! series and a character so possible spoilers for that, spoilers for vol.13 of durarara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-10 12:44:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11691897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluetansy/pseuds/bluetansy
Summary: Izaya bought tarot cards shortly after Manami joined his group of cronies. He soon learned that Manami was a better fortune teller than himself. Set between the end of vol.7 and the beginning of vol.9.





	Ikebukuro's Jester

**Author's Note:**

> Written on request

 

Two months had passed since Izaya's trip to Northeastern Japan in early May.

Since then, he had relocated himself to an apartment-turned-office in Ikebukuro. Like his previous high-rise studio apartment in Shinjuku, this apartment was also extremely spacious.  

In the middle of the room, there was a coffee table with a tabletop game board on it. Izaya sat on a couch next to the coffee table with a chess piece in one hand and a shogi piece in the other. He leaned forward and placed the shogi piece directly in the center of the board.

There was a knock at his front door, yet it had no impact on his concentration.

He placed the chess piece next to the shogi piece.

Namie walked past the table to answer the door.

Izaya shook his head. He indecisively picked up the chess piece he had set down.

Had he looked away from the table, he would have seen Mamiya Manami, his newest employee, step through the threshold of the doorway. Izaya continued to rearrange game pieces. At that time, Manami’s entrance meant nothing to him.

“What’s he doing?” asked Manami with a hint of disgust in her voice.

Namie, who was used to Izaya’s odd behavior, said flatly: “Something useless. But better than listening to him talk.”

Manami agreed and followed Namie back to her work area.

On the edge of Namie’s work desk was a stack of files. While Namie’s task was to enter information from the files into a spreadsheet, Manami’s was to reorganize them.

Manami had made it her practice to skim each file before it was put away. She sifted through the stack of files at the edge of the desk.

Namie briefly glanced at Manami as she snooped through Izaya’s files, but said nothing.

“These aren’t adequate anymore…” said Izaya, suddenly, from the opposite side of the room.

Manami looked up from a file in hand and glared.

Then, Izaya swiped his forearm across the game board. This caused the game pieces to fall to the floor. He kicked them aside and stood up.

“Mamiya-chan, you won’t find anything interesting in that one,” he said when he noticed Manami with one of his files in her hands.

“If you can comment on that, then direct me to a better one,” she said.

Namie ignored this exchange and continued to work.  

“Well… I actually do have one in mind,” said Izaya.

He made his way over to his desk and opened a drawer organized like a miniature filing cabinet.

Manami set aside the file she held and walked to the opposite side of his desk.

“Here,” he said as he slid the a new file across the desk.

Manami did not make a move to open the folder. She simply glared at him.

“What’s the matter? It’s a legitimate file~.”

“It came from a locked drawer,” she stated.

“But you haven’t been able to pry that drawer open yet, have you~? So consider it a freebie,” he said.

“That makes it all the more shady you would volunteer this one.”

Izaya’s face contorted into twisted grin.

“Your instinct is good.”

With that remark of his, Manami flipped back the file folder. She saw that it was a file about herself and haphazardly turned through the pages to gauge how much information was gathered.

_An extensive report._

She was not surprised by the file’s existence, but it still disgusted her. She ripped up as many pages as she could, and soon, what was left of the file was a pile of unevenly shredded paper.

Izaya’s eyes lowered to his desk. Then he looked at Manami, amused.

“Hahaha. That was harsh, don’t you think~? You’ve destroyed it.”

A particularly large scrap of paper stood out among the rest. It was about ¼th of a page that had gone into detail about Manami’s family members. Izaya picked this up. He smiled with mock sincerity, as if they were friends in the middle of a casual conversation, and asked:

“Are you familiar with cheap carnival tricks as well, Mamiya-chan?”

For a moment, Izaya saw recognition in her eyes.  

“That’s none of your business,” said Manami

She walked away from his desk.

* * *

Sometime later, Izaya entered a chatroom he frequented regularly.

**...**

**...**

**...**

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> That’s the second reference to tarot cards you’ve made in this conversation. Have you changed your mind about the occult?

**_Orihara Izaya:_ **

 

 

> Of course not. I admit, there is some slight overlap given that tarot cards are readily associated with divination, but my comparisons are more closely related to the archetypes.    

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> You don’t find that comparison too pseudo-scientific?

**_Orihara Izaya:_ **

 

 

> If the tarot cards were removed from the equation, the archetypal images could stand alone. But I think tarot cards allow them to become tangible representations.      

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> I see now. You’re viewing the people intertwined in everything that’s been going on in Ikebukuro lately as your cards. Don’t forget to factor yourself into that. You’re too involved to be a true bystander.

**_Orihara Izaya:_**

 

 

> Anyway. Is there anything else you can tell me about Yodogiri Jinnai?  

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> And you… you’re The Magician…?

**_Orihara Izaya:_ **

 

 

> I’ve already changed the topic.

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> No, you’re definitely The Fool.

**_Orihara Izaya:_ **

 

 

> Enough of this.

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> Do you have a deck of cards of your own?

**_Orihara Izaya:_ **

 

 

> …

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> Not yet, huh? But I’m sure you will soon.

**_Orihara Izaya:_ **

 

 

> Do you know anything more about him or not?

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> One more question, and then I’ll let it go.

**_Orihara Izaya:_ **

 

 

> … What is it?

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> What caused you to think about tarot in such detail? It’s not like you.  

**_Orihara Izaya:_ **

 

 

> I recently looked up someone with a relative who was a stage magician. That’s all I’m going to say about it.    

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> OK. Concerning Yodogiri Jinnai …

* * *

“Couldn’t you have ordered online?” Mikage asked as she and Izaya walked through aisles of bookshelves in a large bookstore in Tokyo.

“Same-day delivery wasn’t given as an option,” said Izaya.

“That important…?”

“Not exactly. Today just happens to be an ideal day to get what I’m looking for.”

Izaya stopped at an aisle labeled 'games.’ He scanned the shelves with his eyes and moved over to a section with playing cards.

“You got me to leave the dojo early for  _this?”_

Mikage gestured to the shelf of cards.

“Yes. But remember: I’m paying you extremely well for your time spent guarding me.”

She lifted a 52-card deck from the shelf to inspect the back of the package. “You have a bunch of these already. I’ve seen 'em around your office.”

“Well, you’re right about that. But I’m not here for that kind.”

Izaya picked up a yellow box that was significantly larger than the one Mikage held.

“What are those supposed to be? They’re too big.”

“Tarot cards.”

“Like… for telling fortunes?”

“Some believe they are. I’ve never quite understood how those groups of people could place so much faith in the validity of them, though. More often than not, they’re sold right next to other ordinary games, just like here. Surely that should be some kind of indication that they shouldn’t be taken too seriously, right~?”

Izaya’s question was rhetorical; he began to walk away before Mikage could offer an answer. She set aside the deck of 52-cards, and they walked to the cash register.

“You don’t take it seriously, but you’re still gonna buy it,” Mikage commented, clearly unimpressed.

“Why, yes, I am. Tarot cards are a much more suitable representation of the key players in this city than chess pieces. And perhaps, if I wish for it enough, they’ll grant me with the foresight of what is to come~.”

Izaya gave a humorless laugh and reached for his wallet.

“You’re meddling with too much, Izaya. Even I can tell you how this one’s gonna end.”

“Stop, Mikage-chan. You might jinx me~.”

“If you’re jinxed, then you did that to yourself.”

After Izaya paid for the tarot deck, they left the bookstore.

Outside, a car driven by Kine awaited for them.

“Looks like you found whatever you came here for,” said Kine as Mikage and Izaya got into the car. He steered the car out of the loading zone on the side of the street and drove in the direction of the apartment that served as Izaya’s headquarters.

“I did,” said Izaya from the front passenger seat.

Izaya noisily peeled away the cellophane wrapping from the box of tarot cards.

Kine saw the box and scoffed. From the rear view mirror, he also caught Mikage’s expression and noted the disapproval was likely mutual.  

“Kine-san, what’s your opinion about tarot cards?”

“If you think they’ll work, then they’ll work,” said Kine plainly.

“I’ve come to the same conclusion. Their success is entirely dependent on how strongly someone believes,” said Izaya.

Izaya then pulled out his phone. He prepared to send a message to Tsukumoya.

* * *

**...**

**...**

**...**

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> Hello, Yagiri-san. I hope all is well.

**_Yagiri Namie:_ **

 

 

> Such pleasantries are unnecessary.

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> I suppose that is true.  Anyway, I have an inclination that you may be asked to partake in something ridiculous soon.

**_Yagiri Namie:_ **

 

 

> What do you mean?

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> Izaya just bought tarot cards and he’s already asked me if I wanted my fortune read. He’s tried to get me to share what I know about their lore and their reliability.

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> I was rather amused by his skeptical inquiries at first, but it got old fairly quickly… He’s rephrasing the same questions in different ways.

**_Yagiri Namie:_ **

 

 

> This hardly sounds like it’s my problem.

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> If I were you, I wouldn’t be so quick to say that, Yagiri-san.

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> I think he’s going to want to read your fortune, too.

**_Yagiri Namie:_ **

 

 

> So I’ll leave today before I’m asked.

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> That would probably be for the best, yes.

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> However, Yagiri-san, if it isn’t too much trouble for you, I’d like to ask for your assistance…

* * *

Sometime later, Izaya organized a meeting. Aside from Izaya, none of those present had expected the meeting to have become about tarot cards.

“The King of Swords represents you best,” said Izaya as he looked at Izumii who sat across from him.

Izaya picked up the tarot card he mentioned from the coffee table. The game board that was in the middle of the table earlier had been cast aside, forgotten.

“This is stupid!” exclaimed Izumii. He voiced his opinion without reservation. “I don’t care about any of this.”

“For once, I agree with him,” said Mikage, “You called us all here for a reason besides this.”

Izaya glanced over his shoulder to look at Mikage who stood behind the couch.  

“Well, yes, that’s true; I did want to discuss some of the logistics in handling Amphisbaena. But this is more interesting, don’t you think~?” Izaya waved the tarot card around carelessly.

“No,” said Mikage.

“So as I was saying, Ran-kun, the King of Swords suits you because –”

Izumii cracked his knuckles loudly and stepped closer to Izaya. Mikage hopped over the back of the couch and positioned herself to stand in front of Izaya to block Izumii.

“Sit down, Izumii.” Mikage said forcefully.

“Hahaha! Or what?” Izumii smiled unstably.

“You’ll know if you don’t sit down.”

Mikage and Izumii stared each other down for a few seconds.

“Tch. You’re real boring, you know, Mikage?”

Izumii locked eyes with Izaya who looked too comfortable for the way the situation had played out.

“I’m leaving now, so you can calm down,” Izumii addressed Mikage rather than Izaya. “There’s no point in being here if we’re just his entertainment.”

Izumii walked away and headed to the front door.

“Feel better, Ran-kun~!”

The door slammed shut hard behind Izumii.

“It’s such a shame he left before I could tell him his fortune…” Izaya said sadly, “Not everyone could be here today, so I thought it was the perfect chance since there’s extra time. I’ll have to email it to him along with the instructions about how to handle Amphisbaena.”

“It’s hard to believe you’re well-regarded in certain circles with the way you conduct your meetings, Orihara,” said Kine from a corner of the room. “Count your blessings that you have someone guarding you.”

“Well, what can I say, Kine-san? My personality is what it is. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m good at my job. But it is all thanks to Mikage-chan I can continue reading fortunes,” Izaya laughed to himself as he looked down at the other cards that sat on the coffee table.

“Keep your poor attempts at flattery to yourself,” said Mikage as she took the place on the couch across from Izaya that Izumii had sat in before he left.

“I’ll read your fortune instead,” Izaya offered.

He waited for Mikage’s acknowledgment.

_No reaction._

“All right… Initially, I thought you might have been closest to the Strength card, but I’ve decided that one is reserved for someone else. So, instead, you are The Sun.”

“…Why is that?” Mikage asked.

“Mikage-chan is…” Izaya grabbed the yellow box that the tarot cards had come in; he shook the box and a booklet of instructions fell out. He flipped through the pages and stopped when he finally found the page that explained the meaning of The Sun card. “…confident. That’s why~.”

“Yeah? Well, right now, I’m confident you’re terrible at this.”

“That’s because I only memorized the meanings associated with Ran-kun’s cards. As expected, his reaction did not disappoint me~.”

“Pathetic,” Manami interjected quietly from a corner of the room.

Izaya had heard her comment and he smirked.

“What was that, Mamiya-chan? I can’t quite hear you from over there.”

“You’re not even doing it correctly,” Manami said bitterly.

“Oh? In that case, you should be the one to read Mikage-chan’s fortune. After all, you know more about how these cards work than I do, right~?”

Mikage recognized Izaya’s expression as one that often appeared when he truly wanted to irritate someone.

_Izumii Ran had not been the one Izaya hoped to annoy the most._

Despite Manami’s obvious anger, she smiled wickedly back at Izaya.

“Only if I get to read your fortune, too. ”

“That’s fine~.”

Manami left her place by the bookshelves to join Izaya, Mikage, and Kine.

“… For someone like you, the fortune won’t be good,” said Manami.

“I don’t believe in divination,” said Izaya with a laugh. “So I’m not exactly concerned.”

“I don’t believe in it either…  but I still think you’ve got misfortune coming your way by taking it too lightly,” said Manami as she sat down beside Mikage.

“Uh… Mamiya-san, right?” Mikage started, almost hesitantly, “You don’t have to read my fortune if it’s bothersome. I’m –”

“What are you saying, Mikage-chan?  _I’m_  interested in hearing it~!” said Izaya before Mikage could finish her sentence.

Both Mikage and Manami gave Izaya a sharp look before they turned back to one another. Manami’s expression softened slightly as she spoke to Mikage:

“It’s all right. If  _you_ have an interest in it, then it’s no trouble at all. It’s been a while since I’ve done anything with tarot cards… and, well, reading the cards for you would give me practice before I get to him.”

“Well, I guess… I am sort of curious…”

“OK.”

Kine cleared his throat to get Izaya’s attention.

“Orihara, if you’re going to be reading tea leaves instead of discussing important matters, I shall take my leave as well.”

“Hahahaha…. That does appear to be where this is headed, doesn’t it? I’ll have to reschedule; there will be an email regarding the new date and time later this evening.”

With that, Kine left the apartment.

Manami leaned across the coffee table to collect the cards. “You didn’t even bother to shuffle…? These are in numerical order,” she said.

“We don’t subscribe to the same school of thought when it comes to these, so no, I didn’t~,” said Izaya as he slid The Sun card across the table to Manami.

“That much is evident. You can’t just pick a card and assign it to a person.”

Manami looked away from Izaya to mix up the cards and then shuffle them.

“His instruction booklet probably says something about a six or ten card spread, but if it’s all right with you, I’m only going to do three,” said Manami when she addressed Mikage again.

Mikage looked like she was at a loss for what to say.

“Mikage-chan is too polite to say it, but she probably doesn’t know what you mean, Mamiya-chan,” said Izaya.

He feigned what was presumably a helpful grin and Mikage frowned in response.

“Just because I don’t know about a whole lot about this stuff doesn’t mean I can’t follow along. I get it. Three cards is simpler,” said Mikage.

“…He’s putting words in your mouth because he actually wants the explanation for himself. Disgusting,” Manami added darkly.

“Well, I do admit, I am wondering about your reasoning? But I can also tell when Mikage-chan is confused,” said Izaya with a laugh.

The atmosphere became slightly more tense as it became apparent that neither of the women could tolerate Izaya well.

“Don’t assume,” said Mikage.

“It’s all right, I’ll explain it. I was going to anyway before he inserted himself into what I was saying,” said Manami and she glared at Izaya before she continued her explanation. “You were right about the three card spread – it is easier. One card represents the past, another the present, and finally the future. Most people ask the cards a question, but I think it’s better just to pull cards with a general thought in mind that’s kept to yourself. Here,” Manami handed Mikage the deck of tarot cards, “you’re supposed to be the one to shuffle it since it’s your fortune that’s being read.”

“Why?” asked Mikage.

“To make it seem more mystical? That’s just how I was taught to do this.” said Manami.

“It’s supposed to represent your intention, Mikage-chan,” volunteered Izaya.

“That sounds about right. Still – nobody asked you,” said Manami.

“'Nobody’…? That means you were asking after all~.”

“Shut up.”

Mikage shuffled the cards and passed them back to Manami; she set the deck face down on the coffee table, and then pushed over the stack of cards so they were fanned out across the table.

“So you’ll pick three cards from this. And when you have those, set them here,” Manami tapped an open part of the coffee table.

“Does it matter which ones I pick?”

“Pick whichever ones stand out to you.”

Mikage picked quickly; she set the cards on the part of the table Manami indicated as the designated area for what she had chosen.

Manami flipped over the cards.

“You’ve got… the reversed Wheel of Fortune, Strength, and the Nine of Wands.”

Manami looked across the table at Izaya, as she expected him to add an opinion about the cards drawn. However, Izaya kept his mouth shut to observe.

“The reversed Wheel of Fortune represents an event in the past that was unpleasant for you.”

Izaya’s silence was short-lived.

He cackled.

“….That could mean anything! Hahahaha! How ridiculous! … Oh, but, please, go on: I’m eager to know what the other two cards purportedly mean.”

“Laugh while you still can…” said Manami.

Mikage sighed. “Ignore him. Please continue.”

“The Strength card should be fairly self-explanatory; that one can represent physical and mental strength in the present.”

“This card might actually work more than the first…” said Mikage. She appeared happier with the Strength card than she had with the previous one.

“Does it…?” asked Manami.

“Uh, yeah… but I didn’t mean the first card was irrelevant…”

“I figured. You… work out a lot or something, right?”

“My family runs a dojo…”

Izaya happily watched the pair try to exchange pleasantries.      

“How nice…” Manami lacked the enthusiasm one might have expected with these words.

“Yeah, it is…”

For two people who hardly knew each other, there was little more that could be said.

“So the last card… The Nine of Wands represents your future. This means you can expect strife of some kind. All together, I think your cards mean that  _someone_ ,” Manami paused to glare at Izaya, “who is relying…  _no_ , rather –  _using_   _you_  for your strength is going to involve you in something meaningless.”

“This is already meaningless,” Mikage gestured to the tarot cards and Izaya.

“Yes,” agreed Manami, “but the last card indicates strife. You’ll be involved in a battle and get nothing in return.”

Mikage squinted to look at the tarot cards on Izaya’s coffee table. Then, she looked at Manami incredulously. “How did you get all that from those cards?” she asked.

“That’s just the impression they gave me.”

“Mikage-chan, don’t think about it too deeply. Your fortune was that way because she wanted it to involve me~,” Izaya added as he fought against the urge to laugh once more.

“No. Your aura is so repulsive that it’s permanently stuck to your cards. That’s why,” said Manami.

“Or it’s sheer incapability to give unbiased readings. Which is fine by me; it’ll make your interpretations that much more amusing.”

Mikage turned toward Manami and spoke:

“Thanks… I don’t think this stuff is for me…  but, divination or not, I can agree that Izaya is good-for-nothing.”

“Then why do you protect him?”

“Because he asked me to.”

Manami scowled in obvious disapproval. She looked away from Mikage and muttered:

“That’s a mistake.”

“Yeah, probably,” said Mikage in agreement.

“Really, it’s too bad Kine-san and Ran-kun left! It would have been nice to hear what you could have said about them, Mamiya-chan,” said Izaya.

Izaya smiled to himself deviously and reached across the coffee table to collect the tarot cards.

“Namie-san,” he called out across the room, “wouldn’t you like to have your fortune read as well?”

Namie’s keyboard typing ceased. She peered around the side of Izaya’s desktop monitor to look at him.

“I suppose… I’ll wrap up what I’m doing,” said Namie in a tone that was overly agreeable.

“Ahahaha, I expected you to say no~.”

Namie resumed typing at the keyboard.

“Perhaps I’ve suddenly gained an interest in tarot cards, too.” Namie’s voice was completely void of emotion this time. It was as if she had exhausted her ability to feign agreement with her previous comment.

* * *

Namie typed into a chat window on Izaya’s desktop computer.

**…**

**…**

**_Yagiri Namie:_ **

 

 

> You were right. He’s asked to read my fortune.

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> Any chance you can read his fortune, too? If you can, it will nicely complement what I told you earlier.

**_Yagiri Namie:_ **

 

 

> I don’t have to. He’s found a medium who is going to.

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **  

 

 

> Really, a medium…?  

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> Well, if you can manage it, get them to sneak The Fool card into his reading.

**_Yagiri Namie:_ **

 

 

> How do you propose I do that? He’ll be watching.

**_Tsukumoya Shinichi:_ **

 

 

> I’ll create a distraction.

* * *

“I’m done reading fortunes. Like you said, that last one was about you, so it counted as your fortune,” said Manami.

“I’ll make it worth your while if you continue,” said Izaya.

His next words were said in a louder voice: “Namie-san, if Mamiya-chan reads our fortunes, you are to delete everything about her from my hard-drive.”

Namie wordlessly acknowledged Izaya with a slight nod.

Manami crossed her arms. “This isn’t worth my while at all. You have backups.”

“There’s little purpose in keeping them, so those will go, too. You have my word on it.”

“You’re lying.” Manami stated bluntly, unconvinced.

“Izaya’s no good, but if he’s given you his word, he’ll do it,” Mikage said, and then added with a glare in Izaya’s direction, “It’s concerning this is something you’re bargaining over.”

Izaya laughed softly and shrugged. “It’s the nature of my job. … Well, Mamiya-chan, what will it be?”

“… I’ll continue.”

“Excellent! Namie-san next, then.”

Namie got up from Izaya’s desk; her heels clicked with purpose as she walked across the room.

Izaya had initially positioned himself to sit in the middle of the couch to face Manami and Mikage; however, when he saw that Namie approached, he slid over to one side of the couch to make room for her to sit beside him. “Good of you to join us,” he said to her, and held out the deck of tarot cards.

“Shuffle it, right?” Namie asked as she took the cards from Izaya.

“That’s right. Were you listening earlier?” Izaya asked in response.

“It was hard not to,” said Namie. She shuffled the deck, but did no hand it back to Manami.

Namie was no nonsense; she chose the first three cards at the top of the deck and laid them down on the table.

Izaya looked like he wanted to make a snide remark about the way she chose the cards. The comment he made instead, however, was slightly more reserved.

“Interesting way of choosing cards…” he said as he tried not to smirk.  

Namie acted as though she had not heard Izaya; her attention was focused on Manami.

“An explanation of each individual card is entirely unnecessary. I don’t care about it. Your overall interpretation will suffice.”

Since Manami had spent two months worth of time around Izaya’s acquaintances, she was unaffected by the icy remark.

“All right,” said Manami. She looked at the cards Namie had chosen: The Empress, The Chariot, and  The Seven of Coins.

“Don’t be such a spoilsport, Namie-san. I was counting on hearing Mamiya-chan’s insightful evaluations of your cards,” whined Izaya.

“How unfortunate for you,” Namie said.

Namie, Izaya, and Mikage waited for Manami’s verdict about the cards. Izaya was the most impatient; he tapped his foot against the floor purposefully until Manami lost concentration and looked up at him.

“You’re shaking the table,” said Manami.

“Ahaha… was I?” Izaya asked with false innocence.

“You know very well you were. Stop,” said Mikage.

Mikage and Manami looked at Izaya with irritation. He chuckled in amusement, leaned back against the couch, and settled himself to listen to Namie’s fortune. With Izaya less involved, Manami thought about the connections between the cards with a greater clarity.

“A better job opportunity is going to present itself to you soon. One without Izaya around,” Manami finally said.

For the first time since Namie had sat down on the couch with Izaya, she fully acknowledged his presence kindly with a delicate smile.

“I look forward to us going our separate ways,” said Namie.

“But Namie-san, these fortunes aren’t real,” Izaya reminded her, “Besides, your fortune was utterly lackluster in comparison to Mikage-chan’s.”

Whether or not Izaya had tried to hide his dissatisfaction with Namie’s reading was uncertain; it was obvious, and Manami relished his transparency. Her mood was noticeably brighter.

“You only say that because it wasn’t beneficial to you,” said Manami.

“No, no. It was just too predictable…” said Izaya with a sigh.

“Not as predictable as you’re becoming,” Namie smiled at Izaya. 

“A dull fortune suits you, Namie-san.”

Manami added the cards from Namie’s fortune back to the full tarot card deck. She pushed deck closer to Izaya’s side of the coffee table and he grabbed them. He shuffled the cards carefully, as if this was something he wanted to place a great deal of thought into.

“Namie-san’s way of choosing got her such boring cards…”

“I don’t care how you pick – just pick,” said Manami.

Izaya placed the tarot cards in the middle of the table.

He picked three cards from the deck.

He was poised to flip over the cards –

But then, an obnoxious cellphone ring-tone blared throughout the office space.

“Ah… that’s the important one. Excuse me,” said Izaya, and he dashed across the room to the table where hid cellphone was plugged in to charge.

The three chosen cards remained face down on the table.

“So this is the distraction…” Namie quietly said to herself. She watched Izaya answer his phone.

When Namie was sure that Izaya was more absorbed in his phone call than anything else, she reached across the table and she flipped over the three cards.

The World in reverse, The Hierophant, and Judgment.

Namie picked up the rest of the tarot card deck, and she searched through the cards until she found The Fool card. She traded this card with the The Hierophant card Izaya had drawn. The Hierophant went back to the deck. Manami looked mildly amused by what Namie had done.

“Sabotaging his fortune?” asked Manami in a hushed tone as to not attract Izaya’s attention.

“Someone has a vested interest in this card being in his reading,” said Namie.

“…Who? You?” asked Manami.

“No, not me. It doesn’t matter who. Read his fortune as if this card had been there from the start.”

“Then I’ll make his fortune even more abysmal…”

Manami turned The Fool card so that it was also in the reversed position. Then she searched through the deck and found The Tower card. She replaced the Judgment card with The Tower, and finally flipped the three cards face down so they appeared undisturbed. Manami and Namie exchanged a look of solidarity: neither one of them planned reveal to Izaya that his fortune had been changed.

Namie’s icy gaze flickered over to Mikage. They stared at one another for a few seconds.

“I’d say that was poor sportsmanship if this didn’t concern Izaya… but, I’m not gonna tell him, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Mikage finally said.

“Good,” said Namie. She got up from the couch. “Mamiya Manami, I have no interest in seeing you read Izaya’s fortune. I trust you’ll be able to spin this so the emphasis is on The Fool card.”

With that, Namie walked away.  

When Izaya returned to the area of his office with the coffee table and couches, there was no indication that anything out of the ordinary had transpired. The tarot cards appeared just as he had left them on the table.

“You didn’t look at the cards yet, Mamiya-chan~? I thought you might have,” said Izaya as he sat down again.

“You weren’t here to listen to your fortune, so I didn’t,” she lied.

“I wonder if that’s true~? Well, it doesn’t really matter,” said Izaya. He flipped over the first card which revealed the The World in reverse.

Izaya flipped over the next card.

_The Fool._

He was momentarily surprised to see the card Tsukumoya mentioned earlier, but he ultimately decided it was coincidental that it appeared in the reading.

_After all, she had no way of knowing about Tsukumoya…_

He immediately moved onward to the last card, The Tower. The art on the card looked significantly less positive than any other card that had come up in the previous two readings.

“And this card is supposed to represent the future, correct?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Mamiya-chan, this is just too obvious. I think you added this card while I was on the phone.”

“You attracted it to yourself,” said Manami.

_It wasn’t a lie if that was honestly how she felt._

Beside Manami, Mikage shifted uncomfortably. Something about how quiet she was gave Izaya enough reason to believe that his assumption was correct.

“Only because you willed it to be that way~. Hahaha… Anyway, this card – what does it say about my past?”

Izaya pointed to The World card in the reversed position.

“The World reversed represents things not going as planned,” said Manami.

Izaya looked at Manami as if he expected that she should have more to say about the card. She looked back at him hatefully. He quickly realized this was all she had to say about the card and he sighed.

“I’m disappointed… The card being upside-down gave that much away already.”

“Since your trip to the hospital wasn’t planned, it seems to be a fitting card for you,” said Manami.

“Ahahaha…. Do I really need a card to tell me that when I was there to experience it for myself~?”

“You’re dismissing the card’s relevance too soon. The past card’s meaning is intertwined with the meaning of your future card.”

“My mistake~,” said Izaya.

“It is. You haven’t even heard about the other cards yet.”

“All right, point taken~. So what about the next one – The Fool card?”  

“That one means you’re childish,” Manami said without hesitation.

By the look on Izaya’s face, it was apparent this was not what he had expected to hear about The Fool’s symbolism in relation to himself. Manami paused for a moment and appreciated his expression. Then she continued:

“This is an indication of your current state: you’re foolishly propelling yourself forward with hasty decisions that haven’t been thought out long enough.”

Izaya had genuinely enjoyed hearing about Mikage and Namie’s fortunes. It had been easy enough for him to think of Manami’s fortunes as fraudulent ideas she had pulled from her mind while he was fully in the position of an observer. But now, as he listened to his own fortune, Izaya’s laughter was mirthless.

“That’s quite the claim you’re making~.”

“Claim…? This card is spot-on. You didn’t remember my name when you offered me employment,” said Manami.

“Buying tarot cards on a whim,” Mikage also added.

“Exactly, Mikage-chan. Whim is right. Both of your examples – which were very superficial – don’t qualify as meaningful decisions,” said Izaya.

“They’re still decisions. Foolish ones,” said Manami.

“But isn’t that the purpose of tarot cards, Mamiya-chan? … Meaningfulness? The kind of fortune teller you’re pretending to be is supposed to tap into a higher power – one that enables them to make significant judgments about another person’s way of living…”

Izaya trailed off with his thought unfinished. Whatever he might have felt initially about The Fool card no longer impacted his ability to genuinely enjoy the situation for what it was.

“… I said before that we had different philosophies about tarot cards; but now I see that was incorrect. Each card you’ve interpreted has been completely based on what you’ve observed in this office in the past few weeks. You’ve relied solely on observation, not some mystical force. Everything…  _everything_ about this is fraudulent! Ahahaha! Yet you want all of this to come true so badly! …That card,” he pointed to The Tower, “I’m  _absolutely_  sure you planted it,” said Izaya.  

“So what if I did? If our ways of going about reading tarot cards are so similar, then it’s nothing you wouldn’t have done yourself,” said Manami.

“You’re admitting it now! Haha! Well, please know that I don’t mind that you’ve skewered the fortune. So… what do  _you_  think The Tower has in store for me?”

“The Tower… represents the end. Maybe it’ll be the bartender…” she trailed off.

Izaya frowned when he heard Manami reference Shizuo. Manami noticed this, smirked, and then continued:

“Or maybe it’ll be me. Or that organization you’re trying to avoid. Or Someone else entirely. Whatever happens, though, you won’t see it coming.”

“Perhaps you have this card confused with the past…” said Izaya.

Izaya switched the order of the cards so that The Tower represented the past and The World represented the future.

“The combination of those cards appearing together still has the same meaning.”

“And what’s that~?”

“Your fortune represents a downward spiral. The World reversed and The Tower upright are equally unfortunate cards to pull in a reading. The World is the beginning of it. The Fool is your decisions catching up to you. And The Tower… that’s karma. If not the end, then this symbolizes that you’re about to lose something.”

“… My interest in tarot cards, perhaps…?” Izaya wondered aloud. “I must say, Mamiya-chan, you’ve let me down. The cards brought out a more eloquent side of you, but everything you’ve told me – it’s nothing you haven’t already said before,” Izaya said with a sigh.

“Now: the file,” said Manami.

“Go – see Namie-san for that,” said Izaya. He waved his hand as a signal for her to leave him.

Manami started to walk over to Izaya’s desktop computer where Namie was, but Namie stood and stopped her.

“There’s no need. I already deleted it,” said Namie.

Before Manami had the chance to say anything, Namie spoke to Izaya: “I’m going to the convenience store down the street, Izaya. You’re almost out of coffee.”

“Well, you would know, wouldn’t you~? Truthfully, I’ve almost forgotten how to use the coffee maker with you around, Namie-san~.”

Namie rolled her eyes at his comment, and then directed her attention back to Manami.

“You will come, too. Help carry the bag,” Namie ordered.

* * *

Manami and Namie left the lobby of Izaya’s apartment building in silence. They walked about halfway down the street together before Manami finally voiced her curiosity about why Namie had decided she required assistance.

“So what’s the real reason why you wanted me to go with you?” she asked.

“I thought I’d share what’s going to happen to Izaya,” said Namie.

“What do you mean…?” Manami asked hesitantly.

“Izaya asked a powerful contact of his if he could read their fortune earlier today.”

“And they said no?”

“That’s right, the offer was declined. But I suppose Izaya was enough of a pest that this individual felt like playing a prank on him. It’s utterly sophomoric, so I try not to get too involved… usually,” said Namie with a frown.

“Is this why you wanted The Fool in his reading?”

“Yes. Izaya will sulk for a day or two after this contact gets the best of him, so I elected to participate this time.”

* * *

Izaya sat alone in his apartment in front of his desktop computer. Mikage had left shortly after Manami and Namie went out.

Beside his keyboard was The Fool card. He had been more affected by his fortune than he cared to admit since it was the card Tsukumoya insisted was his archetypal self-embodiment.

He opened up the webpage based chatroom where he knew he could find several other people to chat with.

* * *

**_Kanra has entered the chat._ **

**_Kanra:_ **

 

 

> Good evening, everyone!!

**_Sharo:_ **

 

 

> Good evening to you, too.

**…**

**…**

**…**

* * *

Namie and Manami entered the convenience store. Namie stopped at the magazine stand at the front of the store, and she picked up a magazine about cooking.

“… I thought we were here to get coffee,” said Manami in disbelief.

“We are. Find something to read yourself for now. We’re waiting on this,” Namie said and she showed Manami her phone’s screen.

Manami looked at the screen and saw a webbased chatroom with colorful icons.

* * *

**_Chrome has entered the chat._ **

**_Chrome:_ **

 

 

> Hi.

**_Kanra:_ **

 

 

> Chrome-san! It’s so good to see you around again!!

...

...

...

* * *

Izaya had his chat handles Chrome and Kanra carry on a lengthy conversation with each other. Since he already had a good idea of what he wanted to say to himself, he was able to type his messages quickly.

Soon enough, he was ready to conclude their conversation. He typed up their final messages to one another in the exchange.

Then he pressed the enter key on each keyboard.

* * *

**_Kanra:_ **

 

 

> Well, thanks a lot **~**!

**_Chrome:_ **

 

 

> You’re welcome **~**.

* * *

This was how Izaya had intended for the messages to be typed.

However, thanks to Tsukumoya’s influence on Izaya’s computers, the messages read as something slightly different.

* * *

“Here it is,” said Namie as she pointed to her phone’s screen.

“I don’t understand…” said Manami.

“Izaya’s contact reprogrammed his keyboards to automatically generate various messages when he types certain phrases he uses often.”

Manami raised her eyebrows.

“Izaya knows someone with the ability to do that…?”

* * *

**_Kanra:_ **

 

 

> Well, thanks a lot  ** _I’m a fool who believes in Celtic faeries and talking to myself!_**!

**_Chrome:_ **

 

 

> You’re welcome  ** _I’m a fool who believes in Celtic faeries and talking to myself!_**.

**_Kyo:_ **

 

 

> What? What’s this?! Is this some kind of new trendy phrase?!

**_Mai:_ **

 

 

> Me too.

**_Mai:_ **

 

 

> _I’m a fool who believes in Celtic faeries and talking to myself!_

**_Kyo:_**

 

 

> Heehee…

**_Kyo:_ **

 

 

> _I’m a fool who believes in Celtic faeries and talking to myself!_

**_Mai:_ **

 

 

> _I’m a fool who believes in Celtic faeries and talking to myself!_

**_Kyo:_ **

 

 

> _I’m a fool who believes in Celtic faeries and talking to myself!_

**_Mai:_ **

 

 

> _I’m a fool who believes in Celtic faeries and talking to myself!_

* * *

Manami and Namie appreciated three full days of silence.


End file.
